Anxiety in Teenagers: Signs, Symptoms and How to Help.
Watching your teenager struggle with anxiety can leave you feeling helpless. You may try reassuring them, reasoning with them or encouraging them to push through — only to find that nothing seems to change.
The first thing to understand is that anxiety is not always something a teenager can simply think their way out of. When the brain and body perceive danger, the nervous system can react automatically — even when there is no obvious threat.
Helping teenagers with anxiety requires a therapist they bond with and trust. They may resist going to a therapist or have therapist fatigue – so it’s not always an easy pathway. Try and find a therapist that works calming the body, before the mind, because while over-thinking and ruminating are a symptom of anxiety, calming the body first will calm the mind.
Teenager are struggling with ‘fitting in’ and study and anxiety can really get in the way of both of these things. Social anxiety can become acute at high school as they stuffle to find their place and form their identity. Belonging to their peer group is a big part of being a teenager. Study and exams can become difficult because when anxiety kicks in the executive part of the brain that processes and organizes and is logical, goes offline as adrenaline and cortisol flood the body.
Just as a side-note: anxiety tends to really amp up in teenagers who have ADHD or autism, so if they have a diagnosis, then understand that quiet time and minimal pressure is really important.
To settle anxiety, the best way is calming the body first. This might mean regular hypnotherapy or yoga or deep breathing. Getting your teenager to be interested in any of these may be difficult – but they are good techniques when done regularly. The more calming techniques are adopted into everyday life, the faster they will regulate their nervous system.
What Are the Signs of Anxiety in Teenagers?
Teenage anxiety does not always look like fear or panic. Sometimes it shows up as irritability, anger, withdrawal or avoidance.
You may notice:
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refusing school or avoiding social situations
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difficulty sleeping
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stomach aches, nausea or headaches
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perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
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constant reassurance-seeking
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becoming unusually quiet or withdrawn
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panic attacks or physical symptoms
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avoiding things they previously enjoyed
Why Is My Teenager So Anxious?
There is rarely one simple cause. Anxiety can be influenced by school pressure, friendships, bullying, social media, family stress, neurodivergence, frightening experiences or a naturally sensitive nervous system.
Sometimes a teenager cannot explain why they feel anxious. That does not mean the anxiety is not real.
How Can I Help My Teenager With Anxiety?
Try to stay curious rather than immediately trying to fix the problem. Well intended suggestions such as “don’t take everything so seriously” or “there’s no point in stressing about it”, can lead to feeling misunderstood and further anxiety and may not reach the part of the brain that is sounding the alarm.
Instead, help your teenager feel understood. Ask what the anxiety feels like in their body. Notice patterns around when it appears. Encourage small, manageable steps rather than forcing them into overwhelming situations.
Regular exercise does help with anxiety in most cases. Journaling can also be useful.
When Should My Teenager Get Help for Anxiety?
If anxiety is affecting school, friendships, sleep, eating, family life or your teenager’s ability to do everyday things, professional support may be helpful.
My approach to teenage anxiety looks beyond anxious thoughts alone. I work with the nervous system, emotional patterns and subconscious responses that may be keeping anxiety active. Bonding and making them feel understood is important. They won’t open up to therapy if they reject you.
The goal is not to teach a young person to fight their anxiety. It is to help them feel safer in themselves — and more confident in their ability to handle what comes next.
Do I work with Teenagers?
I work with many teenagers and get a lot of joy in helping them gain confidence, feel calmer and sort through issues such as bullying, exam pressures or social anxiety. I have a twenty two year old son who suffered with anxiety.